Fowl Play

3 Apr

Being on the lookout for any ideas for how to make my garden more overwhelming, I surprised myself when I realised that I hadn’t given much thought to adding drama by using animals as stage props. I’ve considered fish, but they are elusive creatures and therefore poor value. Chickens are popular, but let’s face it, this is the Chthonian Life, not the Good Life with Tom and Barbara. Chickens are for wannabe bumpkins. And they make it impossible to eat alfresco. And they eat the plants.

Peacocks, now that’s more like it. And not just any peacocks, but white peacocks. The received wisdom is that they are only for large country houses, but I don’t subscribe to that cap-doffing nonsense.

So I read up on keeping peacocks. They cost about £90 each. They don’t like to be alone, so you can double that sum. It has to be a male/female pair too. They get up early, like cockerels, and make a racket, especially when they are breeding. And they have a habit of wandering into other people’s gardens.

It makes me grin to think of being awoken at dawn by my white peacocks’ noisy lovemaking. But I don’t suppose the neighbours would enjoy it. But can it be any more egregious than my neighbour’s Jack Russell, which still barks at me when it sees me, even though i’ve lived here for the past eight years?



7 Responses to “Fowl Play”

  1. Becca April 3, 2014 at 2:57 pm #

    Peacocks are extremely loud–I suggest bats. Not only are they like night butterflies, they eat bugs and are relatively quiet. I have not been successful in inducing bats to live in my bat house, but maybe you would do better? Or you could go with a snake shrine. I would rather not have snakes, myself, but you could stick with the shrine and leave the inhabitant to the imagination of visitors:

    • thechthonianlife April 3, 2014 at 4:08 pm #

      Snakes, real or imagined, yes. The imagination is a terrifying thing. Chthulu shrine anyone? Sulphurous pit of brimstone and fire?

      • Becca April 3, 2014 at 9:34 pm #

        Firepits are nice, too! Snake shrine, fire pit, and bat house? Peacocks cam also fly–some escaped from the LA arboretum and now live wild in Arcadia.

      • thechthonianlife April 4, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

        That’lo do nicely as an explanation of why I don’t have them: I did have peacocks, but they ate all my choicest blooms and flew off to arcadia.

  2. Peter/Outlaw April 3, 2014 at 3:45 pm #

    Peacocks make a sound like children screaming in terror. It makes me giggle but some find it alarming. Peacocks have also been known to eat the blooms of only the most expensive and rare plants in one’s garden but think of how lovely those white feathers will look in the moonlight.

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